Engagement
Rings
An engagement is an agreement to marry, and also refers
to the time between proposal and marriage. Following
the agreement, a couple are said to be "engaged
to be married," or simply "engaged."
Engagements have no set length, and may range from days to years. Customs surrounding
engagement vary greatly, and may include a formal or informal announcement to
friends, family, and community, or a celebratory party or gathering.
A man who is engaged to a woman is said to be that woman's fiancé, and she is
called his fiancée. These words are pronounced identically in English; the last
-e in the feminine form is simply a French feminine ending. (During the 1990s
fiancé/fiancée was sometimes used as euphemism for a live-in lover, especially
in tabloid newspapers.)
Engagement is similar to betrothal, and the two terms are sometimes used interchangeably.
However, betrothal usually means a more formal agreement, involving not only
the couple but their families; the concept shades into that of arranged marriage.
In contemporary Western culture, it is quite common (in fact, in some areas,
far more common than not) for couples to spend a considerable period of engagement,
often living together, possibly without setting a date for their marriage.
 Long-distance engagements occur where a couple is engaged with the
intention of eventual marriage. At which time one of them relocates
to be with the other.
This is a necessity for couples living in different countries as immigration
laws often require local residency for citizenship and naturalization. For
example an American man meets a woman from Russia and proposes marriage.
In order for
her to join him in the United States, she must become his fiancée and be
granted a K-1 Visa before she can enter the U.S. border. This law is sometimes
abused
by people trying to gain access to a country they wish to relocate to and
there exist websites where one can sign up to marry someone from a country
such as
Russia, the Philippines, and Thailand.
Engagement Rings
Engagements rings are to be worn on the fourth finger of the left hand.
This tradition is thought to be from the Romans, who believed this
finger to be the "vena
amoris" (vein of love), the vein that leads to the heart. Romantic rings
found were found in this era (from as far back as 4 AD) which resembled the
Claddagh Celtic symbol (two hands holding a loveheart) and so it is thought
that this
was used as some symbol of love and commitment between a man and a woman.
However there is a lot of speculation about the origins of the engagement ring,
see the link below for more information on the history of engagement rings. Some
people suggest that the rings could have evolved from slave shackles, and thus
symbolize the future bondage of husband and wife.
The concept of an engagement period began in 1215 at the Fourth Lateran Council,
when Pope Innocent III declared a longer waiting period between betrothal and
marriage. The modern Western form of the practice of giving or exchanging engagement
rings began in 1477 when Maximilian I, Holy Roman Emperor gave Mary of Burgundy
a diamond ring as an engagement present.
Engagement
In the British-American tradition, an engagement ring is a ring worn by a woman
on her left-hand ring finger indicating her engagement to be married. By modern
convention, the ring is usually presented as a betrothal gift by a man to his
prospective bride while or directly after she accepts his marriage proposal.
It represents a formal agreement to chastity and a future marriage.
Similar traditions seem to date at least to the ancient Greeks, Romans,
and Egyptians. In Rome it was believed that the "vein of love" was
located on the fourth finger of the left hand.
In the United States, it is more common today than it used to be for a woman
also to buy the man an engagement or promise ring at the time of the engagement.
In Brazil and Germany, both the man and the woman wear engagement rings.
Material
and design
Designs of such rings have varied greatly over the years. It traditionally is
a precious band, and mounts a diamond or other gem. Current fashions for engagement
rings are for a gold, platinum, or silver band with a single diamond. This trend
dates from advertising campaigns in the 1940s by de Beers, the world's leading
diamond producer.
An engagement ring is often intentionally expensive as a sign of a man's permanency.
The argument for a diamond is that it is the most enduring, beautiful, and expensive
gem. Many women, however, prefer different gems or semiprecious stones to the
stark clarity of a diamond. Many women prefer colored stones. Sapphires, star
sapphires, emeralds, and rubies are often used in engagement rings. Pearls and
opals are rare, because these are soft stones.
In some European countries (for example, Germany), engagement rings are usually
plain gold bands without a diamond.
History
The inception of the engagement ring itself can be tied to the Fourth Lateran
Council presided over by Pope Innocent III in 1215. Innocent declared a longer
waiting period between betrothal and marriage; plain rings of gold, silver or
iron were used earliest. Gems were more than baubles; they were important and
reassuring status symbols to the aristocracy. Laws were passed to preserve a
visible division of social rank, ensuring only the privileged wore florid jewels.
As time passed and laws relaxed, diamonds and other gems became obtainable to
the middle class.
At one time, engagement rings mounted sets of stones. One traditional sentimental
pattern mounted six to celebrate the joining of two families: The birthstones
of the bride's parents and the bride (on the left), and the birth stones of the
groom and his parents (on the right). The parents' stones were mounted with the
mother to the left of the father. The bride and groom's birthstones would be
adjacent in the center. Another similar pattern, for four stones, mounted the
birthstone of the parents' marriages, and the birthstones of the bride and groom.
These token rings often disassembled, to expose a channel in which a lock of
the suitor's hair could be treasured.
 Others believe the engagement ring goes back to the time of the Egyptians. Why
wear the ring on the third finger of the left hand? The ancient Egyptians believed
that the vein in that finger ran directly to the heart. As for that big rock
of an engagement ring, brides have the Archduke Maximillian of Austria and Mary
of Burgundy to thank for that: In 1477 he offered his beloved a diamond as a
betrothal gift -- the first recorded diamond engagement ring.
A Victorian tradition was the Regards ring, in which the initials of the precious
gems used spelled out the word 'regards'.
Refusing the gift
Women traditionally refuse offers of marriage by refusing to take the offered
engagement ring. A woman who accepts an engagement ring, and then does not
marry the man but keeps the ring, is considered grasping and dishonest in
some
cases, although an alternative
argument is that the ring was a gift to which the woman is entitled; because
an engagement is also a period for evaluating one's commitment to the relationship,
it is not uncommon for either the man or the woman to break off the engagement.
It is generally held that if the betrothal fails because the man pursues other
women or himself breaks off the engagement, the woman is not obliged to return
the ring. In the United States, this moral argument usually does not hold up
in court.
Typically, men are responsible for offering the engagement ring to
the fiancée.
Each day, men purchase around 200 engagement and wedding rings. Nationally,
over 5,000 marriage proposals occur per year. However the international
per capita
marriage is much lower than in the US. People speculate this is due to lower
divorce rate.
|
